Marley

Here is a moral dilemma that I, and anyone in my position, face every day and fail every single day.

The concept of owning an animal as a pet. Even though, any creature that sets foot on my door, ceases to be just a dog, or a fish, or a crested gecko. They become family. I care for them, I love them, they are now a member of my family. I’m still failing.

The practice of domesticating animals for the pure purpose of entertainment or personal happiness comes at the cost of either taking them away from their natural and rightful environment or creating a system that breeds animals for sale. I chose not to abstain from this system because I cannot change it. The best I can do, is ensure that animals I bring home aren’t pets, they are family members.

Marley is my 6^th dog thus far.

Thanks to Toby, Max, Bella, Leah and Chico, Marley gets the best version of me.

We call it owning a pet but for me, there is no ownership. I don’t want to own another living thing. That is slavery. Much like murder and slapping someone are nowhere near the same yet they are both violence.

With Toby, I didn’t understand that. He was someone I loved yet didn’t walk him enough, didn’t brush him enough, wasn’t present the way he needed. Over the years, I’ve gotten better and no dog is my favorite. One of my most treasured memories is my road trip from Newport News, VA to Colorado Springs, CO with just Leah. Given I was not taking Tati and Leo with me, I decided to make it a longer trip by choosing backroads whenever possible. Stay at random little towns and stop at random places worth stopping for. Just Leah and I. I set the trunk of my Jeep exactly like she needed to be comfortable. Every so often, she would perk up and it was like a sign to stop. Whether it was so she could go to the bathroom, she was hungry or something piqued her interest, she would let me know. I can’t remember the name of the state park, but we were crossing the Appalachians in Tennessee, and I saw the sign for the state park, and I looked back and she instantly came up with that face of, “yup, let’s do it!” That trip taught me so much about understanding dogs. I have memories like this one peppered throughout my entire life with each of them. Incomparable.

Today, the friendship I can build with Marley is something I don’t think I even begin to comprehend.

Marley is intuitive. He can sense when something is off. At first, I assumed it was based on environmental cues. However, I’m in the camp that while that plays a supporting role, the core mechanism has to do with his ability to sense and understand the state of another living creature, independent of specie. My wife has lived her life with anxiety and I lived my life not knowing how to pick up on that, intuitively. Call it a lack of emotional intelligence, I certainly do. I have gotten better over my years married to her. She has been an amazing partner and has taught me so much. Marley picked it up the second he moved out of that initial puppy stage and into a pup. In that instant, I saw Marley take special attention with her. Random times. Sometimes after a day of work, where he would normally be on my side of the bed, this time he was all over her. I didn’t quite get why until I understood what he was sensing. Her anxiety. Not only did he sense it and became alert to it. He knew exactly what to do to calm her down. Instinctively, he knew this. I had to learn it. Over time.

I think this is the reason I can build a bonafide friendship with Marley. We don’t understand each other’s language. Our senses show us a much different interpretation, and afford us a much different experience, of this planet. Our instincts operate on the same basic principle but at a much different wavelength.

And yet, we are inseparable. He is my best friend. No different than my best human friend. If he hurts, I hurt. He is the first one to meet me at the door and jumps up to give me a hug. Not jump to play or because he is excited. He picked up on hugging from observing us and now he loves to hug me when I come in. It is the absolute best reset to ensure I’m my best at home. It just dawned on me, this exact moment, as I type these letters, that I understand what he was doing. The exact same as with my wife, but this dude even knew that the timing of the affection mattered for its intended goal of calming me, like he calms Tati.

I hope that one day we learn how to co-exists with all creatures on this or any other planet without the need to exploit them. Marley deserves this. He’s already offering me the best version of himself.  

Dre